I've taken a little break from photography, I've needed some time to reflect and rearrange what I want with my business and focus more on my family. It's interesting to me that what makes you have these reflections in life is due to a trial, or in my instance the death of a loved one.
Having someone you love pass away is something that is always hard for me to deal with. When I was younger I lost most of my grandparents and went to a bunch of funerals for distant relatives. I've been to only a few as an adult. They never get any easier. Losing my father-in-law was unexpected, heart breaking, and really made me do a lot of thinking.
I only knew my father-in-law for three years (long story), and those three years that we knew him brought a lot of complications. I always knew my husband and I made the right choice, but that didn't mean opposition didn't arise. Now that Grandpa Mike is gone things seem so clear to me now. Life is about loving those around you. It's about realizing we all make mistakes and to be forgiving. It should be much simpler than we all make it out to be.
I was asked to bring pictures of Grandpa Mike for a slideshow for the funeral. I was saddened to realize I had hardly taken any pics of him in the last three years. I'm a photographer, how could this happen? But then I remember feeling burdened by so many pictures and trying to keep up with day to day life, a blog, a business, a church calling, and everything else that comes with four children. I kind of stopped taking as many pictures. The ones that I now have are priceless to me.
I oftentimes run into people who think a photographer charges too much, or I'll have clients who get frustrated with their children for not cooperating. The great thing about a photograph is remembering that person the way they were at that specific moment in time. Does it really matter if your two year old won't look at the camera? Or your three year old wants to make some silly faces in some of the pictures no matter how much you beg them not to? It shouldn't matter. It's who they are right now. I'd rather fill my walls with pictures depicting my kids personalities than cheesy grins that look forced.
The things I've learned from my father-in-laws death I will be putting into practice. I don't want his death to go unnoticed, it needs to change me into a better person. I will be taking LOTS more pictures of those dearest to me. I will look for opportunities to play with my children and teach them. I will let others now I care about them. I won't worry so much about how clean my house is. I will love life. And I know this won't be easy, and that right now it seems all clear and simple. But the pictures I have of Mike will help me remember to be that person that he taught me to be.
Get out there and take pictures of your loved ones. The price of a photograph becomes priceless once those moments are gone.
